Whatever it Takes
by redsandman99
Summary: In the wake of the Shield's destruction, all Dean can see is Roman leaving him too. And he's willing to do anything to keep it from happening.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** : The first of a two part thing. This was written for the wrestling kink meme thing and hopefully you all enjoy it.

* * *

Dean couldn't pinpoint the moment where he went numb. Maybe it had been in the midst of getting beaten with the chair. Or maybe it had been once they got backstage, and the full magnitude of the betrayal started to set in. He didn't know. He couldn't bring himself to care. Numbness was good. It meant he didn't feel how much his back hurt. It meant he didn't have to feel the shattered remains of his heart trying to keep beating inside his chest. How could he have not seen it coming? That was supposed to be his thing. He was the paranoid one who knew that everyone was going to leave him in the end. He was the one who either made a point to leave first, or made a person to drive the other person away on his own terms. Yet this time he had thought it would be different. He thought he had finally found something with Seth and Roman that he hadn't had before. Safety, security, family...and now that was all gone. Seth had taken it all and destroyed it completely. And Dean had no idea what had sparked it. They had all been getting along again. They had been winning the war against Evolution. At least Dean thought they had been winning. Clearly he had been wrong though. They had lost. They had lost in the worst way possible.

The door shutting behind him snapped him out of his thoughts. He and Roman were back in their hotel room. He didn't even really remember the car ride back here. It had passed in a silent, dazed blur. He watched Roman stiffly make his way over to the bed. The look on his face pierced Dean's numbness and made him hurt all over again. Roman was hurting just like he was, but there was much more confusion on his end than Dean's. He wasn't used to this. People didn't up and leave him like they did Dean. He wasn't the type to get knife after knife plunged into his back. It wasn't fair that he was being subjected to it now. He was good. In a business of shady and fucked up people, Roman was one of the good ones. That type of thing normally didn't matter much to Dean, but it did now. He wanted Roman to stay as he was, and not get chewed up and spit out and ruined.

"Fuck," Roman mumbled as he sat down on the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, a heavy sigh escaping him. Dean kept his distance, not sure what to do. He wanted to make Roman feel better, but there was nothing he could say or do. He was useless with the comforting thing on a good day. He sure as fuck couldn't do it now. And he was more than afraid of fucking it up now. One wrong move and Roman would realize he was useless to keep around and just split. Or he would prove himself to be a snake like Seth, and Roman would leave to protect himself. The thought scared the shit out of him. That wasn't what he wanted. He needed Roman to stay. He had let himself grow attached. Let himself become weak and fear being left all alone again. He couldn't drive Roman away. He had to figure out how to convince him to stay.

"Dean." Roman spoke again, snapping Dean out of his thoughts. He had a hand stretched out, gesturing for Dean to come closer. "Please?"

Dean walked over to him, letting Roman grab his hand as he sat down next to him. His body complained at the action, but he held back his grimace. It wasn't like standing up was any more comfortable. He kept his hand in Roman's, squeezing it just as tightly as Roman was doing to him. His whole body hurt. His heart hurt. His fucking soul hurt. But at least with Roman's hand in his, it was a little easier to breathe.

"That fucking bastard." Roman's voice was so soft that Dean almost didn't hear him. "He fucking tricked us." He let out a low, brittle laugh. "How long do you think he was fooling us?"

Dean just shrugged. He had no idea. He didn't even want to think about it, if he was being completely honest.

"We're going to get him." It wasn't clear if Roman was saying this more for Dean, or himself. "He's gonna pay."

Right. Of course. He was for that. But that wouldn't come yet. They were too beat up and fucked in the head to go for it now. They needed to regroup. "But what do we do now?" he found himself asking. That was the million dollar question. How did they regroup? What the fuck did they do until they were ready for this next stage of the war?

Roman didn't answer that right away. He just looked at Dean, seemingly trying to think of the answer. His eyes started flickering down to Dean's lips. His grip on Dean's hand tightened. Dean felt his breath catch in his throat. In a instant the air between them had changed completely. It was the thing they had been ignoring for awhile. Or Dean had been ignoring at least. He didn't know if Roman had been feeling the same way this whole time or not. Maybe he just wanted Dean now because he was the one that was there. The thought of just being a warm body for Roman to use made his stomach twist uncomfortably. He quickly pushed it aside. He didn't need to complicate shit with feelings and whatever. He wanted to focus on making Roman feel better. He wanted to focus on making Roman stay. He would be alright if Roman stayed.

"Can I kiss you?"

Dean blinked in surprise. He wasn't expecting to be asked. "Yeah." He managed to answer that without stammering.

The kiss was soft, still seemingly hesitant even after Dean asked. It didn't stay that way for long though. Roman deepened it, encouraged by the little noise that escaped Dean. Dean still didn't know what this was supposed to be. Was it just comfort or was it something else? He was too afraid to ask. Instead he tried to shake off his thoughts and focus his attention on the kisses. They were nicer than Dean expected them to be. With as much as he and Roman butted heads, he had always imagined the kisses being rougher. Then again, in all of the scenarios he saw their first kisses unfolding, he didn't imagine it happening after being fucked over by the only other guy they thought they could trust. That was a real big kicker right there.

Dean laid himself on his back, pulling Roman down on top of him. The kiss doesn't break as Roman gets settled between his legs. His hands slip under Roman's shirt, grateful that Roman had ditched the vest before they had left the arena. He lightly ran his fingers over Roman's skin, shivering as he felt Roman return the favor. Roman's lips traveled from his lips to his jaw and then to his neck. Dean tilted his head back to give him more access. A low moan escaped him as Roman lightly sucked on the skin. It wasn't hard enough to leave behind a mark. Roman had more consideration than that. Dean let out another moan as his hands slipped down and started undoing the button of Roman's pants.

"You sure?" Roman pulled back enough so he could look Dean in the eyes. "We don't have to if you don't want."

They did though. Dean felt like they had to. He had to show Roman he wasn't going anywhere willingly. He had to make sure Roman had a reason to keep him around. He had to make Roman forget, and maybe he could forget too. It didn't matter that he was exhausted or beat up all to hell. He could put that aside. He recaptured Roman's lips in a kiss, distracting him as he unzipped his jeans and and pulled out his cock. He gave it a few experimental strokes, drawing out a low groan from Roman.

"Fucking hell Dean." Roman helped to yank down his pants and underwear the rest of the way, kicking them off past the foot of the bed. His shirt and Dean's clothes went next, their speed hindered by not only their battered states, but Dean's attempts to keep their lips locked the whole time. The hand that had left Roman's cock to help get rid of their clothes found it once again, stroking it a little faster now.

"Fuck!" Roman broke the kiss and dropped his head against Dean's shoulder. "You trying to kill me here?"

"Maybe." Dean tried to keep going, only to have Roman shake his head and pull it away. "What?" Instinctively he panicked, wondering if he had done something wrong.

Roman said something Dean didn't catch before going over to his bag. He rummaged through it quickly, coming back a few moments later with a bottle of lube and a condom. Dean bit back his sigh of relief, instead forcing himself to smirk.

"What, did you expect to get lucky or something?" He smacked Roman lightly on the chest. "Better not think I'm easy."

"Oh believe me, that's the last thing I'd ever think of you." Roman set the condom aside for now in favor of popping the cap off the lube. He poured some on to his fingers before leaning back down to plant kisses across Dean's chest. Slick fingers teased Dean's hole, one sliding in and making him bite his lip. It had been a long time since he had been the one getting fucked. He usually didn't let it happen. It required an amount of trust that he didn't actually have in people. But he wasn't going to object. He trusted Roman. Maybe that was a terrible idea, but he was choosing to do it anyway. Maybe that would count for something.

Or maybe he was just a fucking idiot.

Roman's kisses trailed down from Dean's chest to his stomach as he slowly slid another finger inside of him. Mumbled praises were being said against his skin. Dean tried to listen, but they got lost as Roman crooked his fingers just right and found his sweet spot. "Fuck!" He arched against the long digits, his own fingers grabbing hold of the sheets under him.

Roman's mouth moved along Dean's hips, sucking harder there than he had on his neck. Marks would remain here, tucked away from the rest of the world. They would know though. And that would be enough.

"You can fuck me already," Dean mumbled as Roman slid a third finger into him. "Don't gotta take forever."

"Don't want to hurt you," Roman replied.

Dean stayed quiet at that, not wanting to cause an argument. He pulled Roman's head up so they could kiss, needing a distraction from how long Roman was taking. Roman's fingers worked in him awhile longer, making him squirm and writhe with need. The head of his cock rubbed against Roman's stomach, smearing precum against his abs. Roman finally pulled his fingers away and grabbed the condom, rolling it on his cock and coating it with more lube.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Dean nodded.

Roman gave him a long look. Dean's heart started to beat faster. That look. That fucking look. The weight of being the only one who had ever really had Roman's back for possibly the entire year and a half they had been a team really sunk in. That was a fuck of a lot of pressure to sit on his shoulders. This wasn't supposed to be him. He wasn't the one people were supposed to count on. Yet here he was and here he was staying, ignoring the instinct that told him to run and save himself while he still could.

Roman slid inside slowly, stopping when his hips were flush against Dean's body. Dean locked his legs around Roman's waist while his arms went around his body, pulling him in so there was no space between them. He buried his face in the crook of Roman's neck, trying to hide the grimace he couldn't hold back.

"Dean?" Roman noticed anyway.

"M'fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's just...been awhile. Give me a minute."

Roman waited, planting soft kisses from Dean's ear down to the column of his neck and then his shoulder as he did so. Dean slowly relaxed, dropping his head back on the pillow and giving Roman the okay to move. Roman still moved slow, his mouth still kissing any part of Dean it could reach. Dean closed his eyes and tried to focus solely on the pleasure. His back and ribs still ached terribly, but he didn't want to think about that. He already wasn't going to sleep because of it. There was no way that he would be able to find a position to lay in that would allow him any real rest.

Roman pressing their foreheads together made Dean open his eyes. He immediately shivered; the look Roman was giving him was almost too much. It felt like he was drowning in it. The only reason he wasn't completely going under was because Roman's hands on him kept him grounded. They roamed over him, lightly touching every inch of him that they could. His thrusts grew a little faster, his own pain being pushed aside because he needed more. Dean dug his bitten down nails into Roman's back. He wanted to slip a hand down between their bodies to stroke his cock. It was begging for some kind of touch. But he couldn't bring himself to let go. He needed to hold on to reassure himself that Roman was still there. "Roman..." The older man's name passed from his lips in a breathless moan. "Roman..." There were more words on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say them. Needed to. But he couldn't. They escaped him completely, leaving him with just the one. "Roman..."

Roman snaked a hand down between their bodies and wrapped it around his cock. "Fucking god damn Dean." He stroked him firmly, his hand moving quicker than his thrusts. His lips were on Dean's again, his kisses desperate and needy. Dean returned them in kind. He whimpered in between them, heat coiling in his belly and making him feel like he was going to explode. More whimpers escaped him even as he tried harder to keep himself quiet. Roman's hand moved faster, the head of his cock hitting his prostate with every thrust in. The dual sensations were too much, and Dean came with a cry, his release coating both Roman's hand and their stomach. Roman's release quickly followed, his head dropping in the crook of Dean's neck. Dean let out a shaky sigh, relief filling him as Roman kept him close. Roman was staying. Seth was gone, and Dean felt like dying, but Roman was at least still there. That was enough for him.

* * *

A few days later Dean found himself walking through a grocery store with Roman. The two of them hadn't been on Smackdown. They went to Dean's Las Vegas apartment instead, needing to regroup before they went to Raw on Monday. Roman wanted to talk strategy for how to take the whole Authority down, but Dean was more interested in talking about how to tear Seth's face off. Getting rid of the Authority itself was too grand of a plan for him. Murderizing a scumbag who fucked him over? That was more his style.

He stopped in the chip aisle and was in the midst of trying to decide between Doritos and Fritos when he felt a hand grab his. He looked over and saw Roman standing beside him now. He had the basket in his other hand, which was full of far too many healthy things for Dean's liking.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Roman posed the question before Dean could criticize his half of the shopping expedition.

"Yeah sure," Dean replied without thinking. "Steak and beer?"

"Yeah. That's good. And maybe a movie after?"

Dean froze, eyes widening a bit at that suggestion. "Are you...are you asking me out on a fucking date?"

Roman grinned sheepishly. "Uhhh...yeah?"

Dean stared at him, still taken aback by the suggestion. They hadn't really discussed the status of anything between after they had sex. They had both skirted around the issue until now.

"I mean, we don't have to if you don't want," Roman said. "I just...you know...thought I'd ask."

"I...yeah I wanna." Dean cracked a grin as Roman smiled. "Dating's good. I like dating." No he didn't. He hadn't ever really been good at relationships. But he had to make sure Roman stayed. Roman was the only thing he had left. He couldn't let him get away. Anything he wanted he would get. Just sex, a relationship...Dean would give him it. He wouldn't let himself fuck it up like he had so much other shit. He just wouldn't. "Tell me you don't want to see a scary movie though."

"Well..." Roman laughed at the look of panic that flashed across Dean's face. "Kidding. I'm thinking a comedy or some shit."

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank fucking god."


	2. Chapter 2

Finding terrible movies to watch on Netflix had been a hobby of Dean's for awhile now. Sure, watching something good was nice and all, but finding something terrible to make fun of was more entertaining to him. Of course, there was the risk of choosing something just plain boring, which is what he had done this time. Making fun of the lead actor's terrible attempt at an English accent had gotten old after about twenty five minutes. Now at an hour end, he felt like scooping his eyeballs out of his sockets and throwing himself out the window. Drastic measures sure, but the pain needed to be stopped.

Moving anywhere though was going to be something much easier thought of than done. The bad movie choice combined with being laid out on the bed meant Roman had fallen fast asleep. And not only was he asleep, but he had decided to lay all over Dean while he was at it. He had an arm draped over Dean's stomach while one of his legs was tangled in between both of Dean's. His head rested against Dean's shoulder and he looked so peaceful that Dean didn't have the heart to move him so he could grab the remote that had fallen to the floor. Instead he stayed still, enduring the shitty movie so Roman could catch up on his sleep.

"Fucking lucky I love you," he muttered under his breath. He reached over with the arm Roman wasn't practically laying on to move some of his hair out of his face. His hand lingered afterwards, his fingertips gently tracing over Roman's face. He felt like a complete sap for this. This was the type of shit Roman did to him all the time. Given how much he always grumbled about it, he felt like a hypocrite for doing it now. Yet he couldn't help himself. Sometimes he needed to remind himself that he had Roman. He hadn't fucked this up yet. He had been trying to worry about that less. It had been a couple of months since this had started with them, and Roman showed no signs of getting sick of him. Roman liked being with him. Roman looked at him like he was all special and shit. It was fucking weird, but Dean wasn't going to complain. He didn't have a lot of good things in his life, but he had Roman.

He moved his hand and tried to turn his attention back to the movie. It didn't last long. Without realizing it he fell asleep as well, not waking up until he felt Roman's lips all over his face. "Ugh." He tried to wiggle away, not getting far with Roman's arm locked tightly around him. "Stop it." He cracked an eye open and tried to glare at Roman. "Asshole."

"Me?" Roman pulled his head back just enough to flash Dean his most charming smile. It worked a little too well because Dean felt himself almost melting right on the spot.

"Yeah you." Dean took a glance at the TV and saw that the movie was over. "Why'd you wake me up? You're the one always bitchin' that I don't get enough sleep."

"Yeah I know," Roman admitted. "But we're late for Jimmy and Naomi's party. Jimmy's texting me telling us to get our asses over here."

Dean groaned. He had completely forgotten about that stupid party. "Tell 'em we can't make it."

"What would I tell him if I did?"

"Tell 'em I'm sleeping."

"You know that won't shut him up."

"Tell 'em I'm dead then."

"Not funny." Roman sat up and and rolled off the bed. Dean tried to grab him and make him stop, but he wasn't quite fast enough. "Up. Come on. Please?"

Dean groaned. "Fine." He reluctantly got up, wincing as his knee violently objected to the action. "You owe me though."

Roman smirked. "Don't worry. I know just how to repay you."

* * *

Dean had hoped repayment meant sneaking off during the party and receiving a blowjob, but it wasn't meant to be. Repayment tonight meant pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniels and sharing it as the festivities went on. Whiskey was always a welcome present in Dean's eyes, and he matched Roman shot for shot. The others weren't quite as amused, mainly due to it leading to Roman's terrible rendition of "We Will Rock You" and Dean karate kicking a lamp into a wall. Jimmy had to drive them home, reading them the riot act the entire time. There was some spiel about not acting like idiots and them paying for the lamp, but Dean wasn't really listening. Roman's hand was on his thigh the whole way, squeezing and inching closer to his crotch. Dean barely fought off the urge to arch into his touch. The only thing stopping him was the fact that he was just sober enough to know that Jimmy would probably crash the car just to make them knock it off.

They were barely back in the house before Roman's hands were on his hips and pulling him in for a kiss. Dean returned it eagerly, his arms wrapping around his his neck. He pressed himself as much as he could against Roman's body, making their attempts to stumble towards the bedroom even harder. They nearly fell down the stairs, Dean just barely managing to catch Roman before he fell backwards and broke his neck. "I got it," Roman tried to insist. He grabbed a hold of the railing to help steady himself. "I got it."

"You sure?"

"Mhm." Roman grabbed Deans hand and lead the rest of the way to the bedroom. They didn't even shut the door behind them. Roman just pushed Dean right up against the wall, devouring his mouth with a greedy kiss. Dean's head felt like it was spinning. He tried to push himself off the wall so they could get to the bed but Roman didn't budge. Instead he just broke the kiss and looked at Dean through half lidded eyes. "Can we try the thing?"

Dean blinked, not understanding what the hell Roman was asking.

"The shit Nikki was talking about."

Oh fuck. That. Dean had been trying not to think about that. Nikki fucking Bella, in all her blunt glory, had given them a pair of silk scarves and said some shit about it being more romantic than handcuffs. Roman had laughed about it while Dean had rolled his eyes. They had done their share of experimenting, but getting tied up hadn't been laid out on the table yet. Dean had hoped Roman would just forget about it. Getting tied up wasn't something he wanted to do. It stirred up memories of shit he tried to make a point of forgetting.

"Dean?"

Dean fidgeted nervously. Roman was just looking at him, waiting for the answer. He needed to say no. Roman wasn't actually the pushy type. Drunk or not, Roman would go with what he said. But the desperate need to appease Roman's desires made him nod instead. The irrational belief that he had to surrender himself just to keep Roman won out. It was stupid. No, it was actually beyond stupid at this point, but stupidity was one of his specialties when he was drunk.

Roman picked him up, placing soft kisses along his neck before depositing him on the bed. Dean watched him stumble to his bag to get the scarves. Dean made a quick mental note to pay one of the other divas to kick Nikki extra hard in the mouth next time they had a match with her before trying to shake his thoughts off all together. No thinking. Thinking was bad. He kicked his shoes and socks off before slipping out of his shirt. His hands started to go for his jeans as Roman joined him on the bed. He immediately yanked him into a kiss, looking to lull himself into relaxing. This was Roman. He was safe with him.

Their clothes ended up mixed up together on the floor. Roman tied his hands up against the headboard, fumbling a bit in his struggle to not tie it too tight. Dean tried to keep his breathing even as he pressed kisses on any part of Roman he could reach. Calm. He had to keep calm. This was Roman. He was safe with him. But repeating that in his head didn't help him feel better. His body still tensed even as Roman started trailing kisses along his neck and collarbone. _It's Roman,_ he reminded himself again. _It's Roman. It's Roman it's Roman it's -_

 _Dean's scream was muffled from the sock that had been shoved into his mouth. He tried to pull himself free from the ropes that held him down. There wasn't any success to be found. They were too tight. Or maybe he was just too weak. His head was swimming, his limbs felt shaky and his stomach was churning violently. He was going to get sick. He couldn't get sick. He would choke to death and die if he started now. He whimpered and tried to pull at the ropes again. He didn't know what happened to him. He wasn't feeling well enough to put the pieces together. All he could process was how helpless he was. He couldn't really move. Couldn't really scream. Couldn't do anything except just feel the large, calloused hands running all over him._

Roman's lips trailed lower, moving down across Dean's chest and his stomach. He was too drunk to immediately notice how rigid Dean had become. Dean tried to shake it off. He tried to arch up into the hand that now wrapped itself around his completely soft shaft. But his hips wouldn't really move. His body stayed frozen, his heart pounding and stomach twisting itself into knots. He was going to get sick. God he was going to get so fucking sick.

 _A large hand slapped him across the face. The beady eyes of his mother's boyfriend glared angrily at him. He was screaming too much for his taste. Dean couldn't help it. Everything hurt too much. He felt so sick, and it all hurt, and he couldn't fucking do anything except try to scream. Not that it even mattered. The only one who maybe who could hear him was his mother, and she wasn't about to do a damn thing about it. The asshole on top of him kept a roof over her head, booze in her fridge and her veins shot up with drugs. She let him get away with absolutely anything if it meant he would stay._

"Dean?" Roman's hand moved away from his dick. His eyes were wide, concern in place of the drunken lust.

Dean grunted. His heart was pounding even harder. His chest felt heavy, making it hard to breathe. He tried to speak, wanting to tell Roman he was fine. That it was nothing to worry about. But he couldn't. The words wouldn't come out. Panic had left him completely mute.

"Fuck!" Roman moved off of him and quickly started trying to untie Dean's wrists. "I'm sorry." His rush hindered his efforts, which made him flustered and clumsy. "I'm sorry." There was that apology again. He didn't even know why he was making it. Dean didn't want to tell him. He had spent way too long burying that shit down. Talking about it made it real once again.

Then again, it was feeling pretty real now, so maybe his strategy hadn't ever been as foolproof as he thought.

"Dean?" Roman watched him slowly sit up. "Can you say something?"

"Something," Dean finally grumbled. He moved off the bed, his legs feeling weak underneath him. He gave himself a moment, making sure he would actually stay up on his own two feet. He went to go grab his clothes, but Roman was already right there, holding them in his hand.

"Dean?" Roman sounded reluctant to even speak. He looked afraid of fucking up more than what he thought he already did. "What -"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Dean didn't make eye contact as he grabbed his clothes and started putting them on. Now that the panic was wearing off, he just felt completely stupid. This had been Roman with him. Roman wasn't like that asshole. He wouldn't have hurt him. "Let's just forget about it, okay?"

Dean's eyes staying down didn't let him see how close Roman was to objecting. He stopped himself though, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder and giving it a squeeze that said okay to that plan.

* * *

Three days passed and neither one actually forgot about the incident. It was quite the opposite really. It weighed heavily on their minds, creating a tension between them. Roman wanted to talk about it. He tried to carefully approach the subject several times, but Dean steadfastly avoided it. He knew that he shouldn't. He was shutting Roman out, pushing him away despite that being the last thing he ever wanted to do. But talking about the kind of shit they needed to wasn't something he had ever been good at. Opening up to people had never actually gone well for him. The people he tried to let in always ended up leaving him. It made it hard to want to open up, even if he knew that Roman was different.

Finally though, it was too much to keep tip toeing around it. Dean came back from the gym to find Roman sitting alone in their hotel room. He was on the bed watching TV and he gestured for Dean to come join him. Dean went over and sat down with him, biting his lip as Roman wrapped an arm around him. He knew Roman was going to eventually ask again. He couldn't keep hiding from it, no matter how much he wanted to. He just needed to get it out and then hope they never discussed it again.

"I um...fuck."

Roman frowned. "What?"

Dean rubbed his hands against his legs, trying his best to just back out and say to forget it again. "Mom dated a lot of fucking scumbags. Druggies, pimps, dealers, run of the mill movie cliche woman beating alcoholic assholes - you can name them all and she did them. Anyway, there was uh...there was one that sort of treated her better. He actually paid our rent, kept food in the fridge, didn't beat her up as much. She was crazy about him. But he um...he wasn't totally interested in her."

The look in Roman's eyes told Dean that he was sensing where this was about to go. "Dean..."

"I avoided him a lot." Dean talked faster, knowing he would just lose his nerve if he stopped for too long now. "Wasn't easy. I didn't have anyone else to stay with and the streets were just as bad and shit. But I managed for awhile." His mouth felt dry, and his stomach started twisting uncomfortably. "There was one night though...he got some promotion or whatever at his job. That meant more money, and he took us out to celebrate. It was a nicer place than I had ever been to, and his attention was mostly on Mom, so I like, relaxed you know?" He swallowed hard, his palms sweating now. "He um...he slipped something in my drink without me realizing it. Everything got real fuzzy and shit. When I like, really woke up, he had me fucking tied up on my bed and uh...yeah." He left the rest unsaid. There wasn't a need to go on. He could tell by the look on Roman's face that he got the point.

"That fucking son of a bitch." Roman's growl was low, sounding as dangerous as the blaze in his eyes looked. "I'll kill him."

"You don't even know what he looks like. I don't even know where the fuck he is."

"I'll still kill him." Roman took his arm off of Dean and got off the bed. He began pacing around the room, his fists clenched into tight fists. "Fucking mother fucker...what did your mom say?"

Dean shrugged. "Mom let him do whatever so he wouldn't leave her. That was always how she operated with her boyfriends."

Roman snarled, surely planning her death now too. He stopped suddenly, turning to look back at Dean. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"How the fuck was I supposed to just slip that in there? Fucking hell Ro. I've spent the past fourteen years NOT thinking about it. It ain't shit I like bringing up."

The answer went accepted for a moment, but then Roman was right back to asking another one. "Why didn't you just tell me no?"

Dean froze at the question. "What?"

"Why didn't you tell me no? I wouldn't have made you explain yourself." Roman stepped closer to the bed, shaking his head as Dean looked away. "You never tell me no. Anything I want to do you just let me."

"I like the shit you do, so what does it matter?'

"It matters because you didn't like it. You had a full on fucking panic attack. I fucking tied you up against your will like that piece of shit -"

"You couldn't have known, so it's whatever."

"But why didn't you tell me no? Did you think I was gonna get pissed off or something? Did you..." his eyes widened as he pieced something together. "Dean, do you think you gotta let me do whatever so I'll stay?"

Dean didn't answer that. He didn't want to. Unfortunately for him, his silence said everything for him.

"Is that...Dean what the fuck?" A hurt look flashed over Roman's face before he tried to cover it up with anger. Dean had still seen it though, and he felt like a piece of shit for it. "Is that what you fucking think of me? You think I'd just drop you if you didn't make yourself useful or whatever?"

"No. That's not what I think. Not really..."

"Then why -"

"Because I've fucking been wrong, okay?" Dean stood up now, his own hands clenching into fists. "I thought Seth was different too, and then he fucking left."

Roman's expression softened. He went to speak, but Dean was still on too much of a roll to let him get a word in.

"I couldn't lose you. I didn't know what the fuck you wanted from me, but I couldn't fucking lose you, okay?" Dean unclenched his hands and let out a shaky breath. "I wanna be with you, alright? It's not just about making you stay anymore, okay? I...I like this stupid relationship crap now. I normally don't, but I do with you."

Roman grinned now, closing the distance between them so he could wrap his arm around Dean's waist. "I made you like stupid relationship crap? Or are you just finally getting too awful at hiding your softer side?"

"Fuck you Ro." Dean tried to wiggle out of Roman's grip. "I do not have a softer side.

"No?"

"Never." The gentle kiss he placed on Roman's lips made a liar out of him, but having Roman deepen in and hold him more tightly against him made it worth it. when they finally broke apart, Roman rested his forehead against Dean's, giving him a more serious look.

"I'm not going anywhere, you understand me? Not if you tell me no on shit. Not if you piss me off. You're stuck with me, you got it?"

Dean nodded and kissed Roman again. "Yeah. I got it."


End file.
